WINFIELD WORD WEAVING

“I can’t believe they forgot to take us with them again. They are so absent-minded. What did we do to deserve them?” exclaimed Licorice. “Come on, Kallie, let’s go try and catch them; follow me.”

“Okay, let’s go, Licorice, I’ll go this way, and you go that way,” Kallie said excitedly.

“No, I said, follow me; we are going this way.” Licorice snarled at Kallie as he ran right between Kallie’s long blond legs. “Let’s go now. Mom! Dad! Where did you go? You forgot us, Wait! Kallie, let’s go back to the front door. Mom! Dad! We are ready to go, come back!” Frantically running with the clickety-clack of nails on wood floors, Licorice and Kallie raced back and forth through the house.

“Licorice, how long are we going to keep this up? They are obviously gone. I heard them drive away, and I’m getting tired,” panted Kallie breathlessly.

“I know they’re gone, I was just making sure they were.” Licorice glared at Kallie.

“You know, we would have caught them if you had followed my plan; by the way, you never listened to me,” Kallie said irritably.

“You’d better drop it right now, or I’ll snarl at you again. You wouldn’t want that, would you?” He asked with a frown and a glint on his sharp little teeth.

“Oh, of course not, Licorice, mighty King of the Dog Domain, you are never wrong,” Kallie said, holding back a smirk and rolling her eyes.

“Glad you see it my way,” Licorice said, strutting away.

“And your feet smell like Doritos, and you are two sizes too small…” muttered Kallie under her breath.

“What was that?” Licorice whirled to say.

“Oh, nothing, I’m taking a nap,” Kallie said with a loud harrumph and a thud as she plopped on the floor, her back to Licorice.

“You just go ahead and do that; I’m standing guard at the top of the lookout,” Licorice said as he scurried up the stairs. “I hear a lot better up here, and they might come back when they realize they forgot us. Stupid humans!” he said with disgust.

“That wasn’t very nice, Licorice. They can’t help their absent-mindedness. They are so distracted every time they walk by me. They bend down and pet me and rub my belly, it’s no wonder they get any work down at all,” Kallie said as she rolled on her back with her feet straight up in the air. “Oh, I can’t wait until they get absent-minded again, I do love a good belly scratching!”

“Yeah, they do know where the good spots are. Especially Momma, she’s by far the best. But why can’t they remember to take us with them? With heads that big, you’d think they’d have good memories,” Licorice said, perplexed.

“Where do you think they go when they go out the door?” Kallie questioned.

“That’s easy; they are two-timing us!” Licorice spouted insultingly.

“What do you mean by that?” Kallie said in an almost hurt voice.

With a klomp, klomp, thumb thump, thud, Licorice was down the stairs and staring eye-to-eye with the front door. “Woman, you are so naive; have you ever noticed when Bri comes home, she smells like another dog?” he turned to eye her. Or when Carena comes home, I am pretty sure she’s seeing a horse. There’s no hiding that smell. And you can even see it on her shoes and the carpet. Then there’s Momma, she smells like McDonald’s. Does she ever bring any home for us? I ask you, Kallie, does she ever bring us home any McDonalds?” By this time, Licorice was eye to eye with Kallie, holding a paw full of fur in each of his claws, pressing his nose against hers. “Then there’s Keenan and Dave. Lord knows where they go, there is no identifying those smells. But I know we aren’t invited to their little party if you know what I mean?” he said with a wild look in his twittering right eye.

“I’m not quite sure what you mean, Licorice, but I think you are exaggerating. They’d never keep us from playing with them. I’m sure they’d take us with them if they were going somewhere fun,” she said reassuringly.

“Kallie, they’ve got you right where they want you, wallowing in your own denial. Well, I won’t stand for it; this has got to stop. From now on, Kallie, we’ve got to stand up for ourselves and be our own dogs. I say hell no, we won’t go, err-ahh, I mean, we will go, even if they don’t want us to go! I won’t be a comfy little leftover to be used when they come back from their sweaty two-timing ways,” Licorice said with disdain.

“Um, Lico?”

“Kallie, don’t interrupt, as I was saying, if they think that I will stand by and wait for them to be their, quote-endquote PET, they’ve got another thing coming,” Licorice said with one paw raised in defiance.

“Um, Licorice, do you hear something?”

“Kallie, for the last time, don’t interrupt me when I’m on a roll.”

“Okay, then I won’t tell you that they are back.”

“What do you mean, they’re back?” Before he finished that last sentence, he knew what Kallie meant. “Mom! Dad! You came back! Come get me! Momma! Daddy! I’m ready to go! Come get me!”

“Boy, if I had a tape recorder, I could be the Alpha dog in this joint,” Kallie said, shaking her head. “Oh well, I guess for now, I’ll settle for being the beauty in this two-dog operation.”

And with equal enthusiasm, Kallie joined Licorice in barking, “Mom! Dad! Come get us! We are ready to go!”

By Dave Winfield