WINFIELD WORD WEAVING

“Dude, What’s up? You workin’ all night, or are you goin’ to call it an evening?” asked Sean.

“I’ve got a ton of work left to do and I thought I’d try and catch up. You headin’ out?”, replied Jeff.

“No, I thought I’d just stand here in your doorway and ask annoyingly obvious questions to interfere with your best-laid plans of working late without distraction so you could get caught up. I also know you’ve got that bottle of rum in your desk drawer, and it is calling my name. Can’t you hear it? Jeff, let me out, Sean’s thirty Jeff, can’t you see, he’s parched and I can cure everything.”

“Man you are a lush, besides I was waiting until everyone left before I busted that baby out.” confessed Jeff.

“No fair drinking alone. Look, I even brought my own cup.”

“Alright, get in here. Give me that glass, I wouldn’t want you to die of thirst.”

“I didn’t know you had any compassion, you are a regular Mother Teresa”

“Don’t you have anywhere better to go? I thought you and your wife were going to the movies tonight? asked Jeff.

“Nope, she cancelled. She had a rough day, and I was more than she wanted to deal with. You know, when things don’t go her way, she just shuts down. Next thing I know, I can’t do anything right, I’m the bad guy, and I just have to take it. You can’t win for losing. Now I’m stuck here, looking at your ugly face,” spewed Sean.

“Watch it, buddy; I seem to remember filling your glass with some rather expensive rum a moment ago.”

“Give me another, and you’ll start looking a whole lot purdier, if that’s what you worried about. Besides, if I didn’t stop by, who’d be trying to cheer you up? You’ve been down in the mouth all week long. Honestly, I thought I should try and pick you up.”

“I’m not down, I’m busy…I’m concentrating…I’m working, which is more than you can say,” retorted Jeff.

“Dude, it might not be my place, and I don’t want to jeopardize my chance at another shot of your stash, but I heard you last week in a heated conversation with Laurie, and you have not been yourself ever since. You’ve been mopping around, working late, you’ve kept to yourself, and the other day, when you snapped at Ron, I was just waiting to see your head rolling by my desk after that little exchange with the big boss. You ain’t right and well, don’t take this the wrong way… but I’m concerned.”

“Hey buddy, I don’t swing that way. You start telling me I’ve got pretty eyes, and we gonna’ have trouble. And as far as Ron is concerned, that asshole doesn’t know how close I came to putting him down. He was inches from breathing his last breath.”

“Before you go Postal, big guy, give me a quick heads up so I can find the closest exit. Remember, I’m your buddy, good ol’ Sean.”

“I ain’t goin’ Postal. You’re right, I’ve been off this week. Laurie and I…we haven’t talked more than a handful of words this week. I haven’t been sleeping well. I toss and turn all night. I’ve been hitting this bottle every night. Fact, this is the third one this week.”

“The third one?” exclaims Sean.

“It relaxes me. I just have been on edge, you know, I can’t think clearly, and I’m completely distracted. I’ve been working late cause I can’t get anything done without forgetting what I’m doing. All I can think of is…I’m a mess. You happy, there I said it, yeah, I’m a mess.” Frowning and staring out the window, Jeff looks across the street but sees nothing.

“Hey, ho there, little fella, like I said, I was just trying to cheer you up. I didn’t mean to release the beast. You know, we all have problems with our spouses. They’re nagging, they criticize, and they’re never in the mood. What do you expect? They’re women.” Jeff thought he was being profound, he started feeling like he could have a talk-show and people could call him up and he’d solve their problems for them, he was wrong.

“What do I expect? Chuckled Jeff, “Well, for starters, I expect my wife of 14 years to be faithful to me. That seems a good place to start. What do you think?”

“Whoa, Dude, oh man, I’m sorry. Wow, that’s that, man, that sucks.”

“Yep, that sucks.” Shoulders sunken and eyes down, Jeff exhales as though he is holding his breath for 5 minutes.

“What are you going to do?”

“What am I going to do? I don’t have the foggiest.”

“When did it, or who was? Hey, if I’m getting too personal, just let me know, I’ll back off,” Sean said.

“You want another one?” Jeff motioned for Sean to hand over his glass. He filled it up and handed it back. “Honestly, I’ve been dying to spill the beans to somebody. I have all this anger and frustration that has just been eating me alive, you know. The other day, I was sitting at my desk, entering an order, and out of nowhere, I picked up my stapler and threw it across the room. I was surprised, no one said anything.”

“That was you. I was in the other room, and I thought the guys out back dropped something, confessed Sean.

“ I had to ditch the stapler in the trash, and I moved the chair in front of the mark that I left in the wall, take a look.” He pointed to the black dent in the white wall. One reason I’m staying away from home is I don’t trust my temper. It’s better if I just show up home late and leave early. And what if I come across that slimy son of a bitch who had the affair with my wife, I’m going to prison. I’m sure of it. Heads will roll, and I’m pretty sure it won’t be my head rolling on the ground.”

“So, who was this guy? I mean, do you know him? Do I know him?” asked Sean nervously.

“Does it really matter? You know, it could have been the President of the United States or the ice cream man that drives that annoying truck around my neighborhood with that goddamn merry melodious cacophony incessantly blaring for all I care. The point is that my beloved wife, the woman that I love and have been married to for 14 years,…broke her vow to me… and went behind my back with this son of a bitch and…”

“Whoa, Jeff, Jeff, hey, it’s okay, you don’t have to tell me who he was. I’m here for you, if you need anything, you can count on me. All kidding aside, we should go do something, you know get your mind off of this, try and de-stress.”

“Sean, you don’t get it, this isn’t something that I can just shake off. Our lives have been changed forever by her decision to dishonor me and our vows.”

“You are right, Jeff, you are right. You know, when I think about my wife and what I would do if she did something like this, I don’t know what I would do. So, I guess what I’m saying is, I just feel bad for you, and if there is something that I can do to help you through this thing, you just name it.

“Sean, I’m sorry, I know you’re trying to help, I do appreciate it. You’ve helped me by just letting me vent, but I’m not ready to shake this off. This one hurts too much, and I’m pretty lost. I might be hitting you up for a couch to sleep on if all falls through. Although I should be throwing her out.”

“You got it, buddy, me casa su casa. I’ve got better than a couch; I’ve got that bonus room where I keep my crap. You know my man cave. It’s yours whenever you need it.” Sean thumps his chest with a fist to show solidarity.

“I appreciate it. You know, I was staying after to get caught up for a purpose, and again I appreciate you letting me cry on your shoulder, so to speak, but I really should get this crap done. For Ron’s sake, you should let me get caught up. I wouldn’t want him bitching at me and loosing his head over it.”

“It wouldn’t hurt my feelings, but it’s cool. Thanks for the drink, barkeep, put it on my tab, I’ll hit you in the morning.”

“Sean, this one’s on the house.”

by David Winfield